I'm tired of being afraid of men. I'm angry, I'm terrified. And it is so revolting. I'm tired of being afraid of getting raped by men, friends and family. I'm exhausted of being afraid. I'm exhausted of not being heard, understood. I'm tired of not being trusted. I'm tired of hearing stories that are different from mine. I'm tired of even doubting myself. I'm tired of living like it never happenend. I'm tired of being ashamed. I'm tired of hating my body, my feminity. I'm tired of liking men. I'm tired of believing in people. I'm tired of being afraid to act however I want. I'm afraid of being weak in a difficult position. I'm tired of being afraid to be near men. I'm tired of being afraid of men walking behind me. I'm tired of being afraid of looking at men. I'm tired of being afraid to lead someone on by my gaze, my smile, my laugh, my clothes, my touch. I'm tired of hating my beauty. I'm tired of hating my smile. I'm tired of my habits that I engraved myself in. It is so revolting.

I'm tired of living like it never happenend. Like I was never raped, like I was never assaulted by so many men. I'm tired of smiling to them. I'm tired of my friends being friends with them. I'm tired of being friends with offenders. I'm tired of joking about it. I'm tired. I'm afraid. I'm depressed. I'm hating myself. I'm tired of remembering.